a melancholy poem from 1984

That one day better be your life

you don’t go crying for tomorrow when you’ve got today man

sing me a sad one, a mourning song

give me the hot blood of your soul steaming on plate

take my eyes

I’m in love

not with me, not with you

with a fleet sensual nothing

young men in special glances and in shorts

a wavering woman reaches to a neighbor

hands across the lawn

her motion describing dances in a pint


what I ever find

looking across the bus at a girl named capable

and a guy who knows what I really want

a finer time, a truer sensibility

love not lost but let go

I never had no good old days

never even wanted ’em

just think so now and again

turn it over and find today

turn over that crying face

growing up gay

Take me out of this house

stop again mister – I want to go

candy from strangers is ok cuz it’s free

and the people you know gotta live with you

forever like

More and more beneath an eternal flame

guarded by the highway and me

an old Slavic man

“Oh, I’ll care for you

I’ll travel you

I’ll take you into my geriatric ward…”

(not for me the fortunate few)

five’ll get you a dime and a half-pint and a diet pepsi

I remember yearning for the dirt

for the street

I remember so much that never came

offer me a ride, fucker – I’ll blow you to heaven

too clearly did I forget their scorn

how could what I’m missing turn up in so many other people?

why did that one guy want to shoot me in November

then be my friend in May


what we all want

growing up gay

On a mountain in a new year we played GI Joe

just like the Greek armies used to do

I still think of you

I always pick up hitch-hikers

but I never know what to say

growing up gay

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